As I write this post it is the end of May 2020. It has now been more than eleven weeks since I left the house to go to work or anywhere else that isn’t considered “necessary”.
Grateful for this time
Honestly, I’m grateful to have this time to be with myself. It’s given me a rare opportunity to really examine my life and to get real about what I want my life to be. It’s also brought out a lot of what isn’t working. This is work that I started on myself back in 2014. But I’ve allowed myself to get too busy to put this important self-work at the forefront. And so I’ve left it on the back burner of my life. I have been one of those “I’ll get to it when I have time” projects.
But apparently the Universe had other plans and has forced me to take the time I’ve needed to continue this inner work journey. And I’ve been doing a LOT of internal work during the last 11 weeks!
I learned a long time ago just how powerful our thoughts and beliefs really are. And so during this time, I’ve been confronting both beliefs and thoughts that aren’t really serving me. And I’ve been breaking down my stories.
But you may be wondering, exactly what does this really mean?
Breaking down stories
As we go through our lives we gather ideas, thoughts and beliefs that become our reality. Everyone holds some beliefs about who they are. For example, a few general beliefs are things such as, “I am a woman”, “I am a writer”.
We use different beliefs, thoughts, and experiences to create stories about what our life really is. And while many stories are healthy and positive, many others are not.
It’s very common for people to have a whole lot of negative stories about their life. But those stories have become so familiar to them that they don’t ever really take a look at them to see how those stories are impacting their life… or if they are even true!
The good news is that those stories can be changed. It does require internal work to take a look at the different stories you hold so that you can question whether or not a story is impacting you negatively.
I have many negative stories that I’ve held onto in my own life.
For a long time, I believed that I didn’t deserve to have money flow easily into my life. For a long time I believed that I was far too irresponsible to have money. This came from not having an understanding of how to manage money in my childhood and young adult years. But was that actually true? No! I hadn’t been taught how to manage money. I certainly didn’t learn it at school. And I didn’t have adult guidance that showed me how either. So I struggled financially for decades. It wasn’t until I released that story, that the money began flowing more freely.
I also held onto the story that I needed to struggle in my life. I don’t really know exactly where I learned that. But that story is pretty common for many. The truth is that when you know how to use your thoughts and beliefs for your benefits, you never need to struggle!
I had one profound “aha” moment recently. I found myself feeling stressed out and that was impacting my body and health. But I remembered one simple idea from the law of attraction…what you focus on expands. I realized that I had been focusing on being stressed and focusing on the ways that was manifesting in my body. And I realized that holding onto that stress wasn’t serving me. So I flipped the script and asked myself “What would happen if I embraced feeling peace, joy, love, and positivity instead?”
In one moment, the heavy energy I had been feeling completely dissipated and I felt so much better. It really can happen that quickly y’all!
Where does your story need to change?
You have connected stories to pretty much every area of your life. And only you can make the changes to the stories that are holding you down. The key is to begin questioning your stories, your thoughts, your beliefs. For me, there were two main questions I asked to begin recognizing which ones needed to be changed.
How do I really feel about this?
It always amazes me just how rarely I used to question how things in my life made me feel. And I’m certainly not alone in that! Most people fail to question things in their life. They don’t question thoughts, beliefs, stories, relationships, activities. And they get stuck thinking, believing, or doing things that make them feel awful! Why do we do that to ourselves? Especially when there’s another option!
The first time I began asking myself that question was right after my ex and I initially separated. I had allowed myself to fall into the story that I needed to be angry, sad, and hurt. That was the common narrative for so many. And so I took up that narrative because it was expected by others.
But that’s not how I really felt. I was relieved and happy to be out of a marriage that wasn’t right for either my ex or me! And I had the freedom to be who I wanted to be and create the kind of life I wanted to create for myself.
The “aha” moment I had when I asked myself that question was profound! And it led me to start asking that question about every element of my life.
Does this really resonate with who I authentically am?
I need to be honest here. Social conditioning is a very real thing. And we are conditioned socially from the time we are babies, fresh out of the womb. We are raised by people that begin shaping who we are by telling us what behavior is unacceptable and what is okay. We go to schools and participate in activities where others continue to program what is socially acceptable and what is not. And we are guided to act and think certain ways…and to believe certain things.
If we don’t conform, we are shown disapproval and/or punished in some way. So in order to conform and gain approval from others, many often shut away who they really are so that they can conform.
Connecting with your soul self
Who I really was had been trying to get my attention for years! But I kept my own mask firmly in place in order to attempt to fit in. But it wasn’t working! I was miserable.
Using meditation regularly started helping me get in touch with who I really am behind all of the social conditioning. And as I started asking my higher self if things really connect with me or not, my life has changed in profound ways.
For example, I used to be a big follower of politics. When I was married the news was always on in the house and politics was the main topic of discussion. When I started looking at things that didn’t align with who I really am, politics had to go. I was able to see just how much following the political world was impacting my energy and draining me. It was actually impacting my health negatively. For decades I had believed the narrative (and social conditioning cue) that is was “my duty” to participate. But following politics was not working for my best good.
Now I understand that my soul has a greater responsibility to the world to do what I can to raise my own personal vibration. And that’s what I’m doing!
Areas to start looking at
If you want to start changing your own stories, you can look pretty much anywhere. But here are some of the biggest areas to check out for beliefs, thoughts, and a story that may be holding you down…not lifting you up!
- Home and personal environment
- Social life
When looking at these areas, find some time to get still and quiet so you can really listen to yourself. How do you really feel? Do these things really resonate with who you really are? Are there areas where things in these different categories are dragging you down?
Taking the time to recognize your stories and re-write the ones that are keeping you stuck or holding you down can change your life for the better!